He’s Playing Hard to Get

I’m a clinger. I was doing it again, wrapping myself around my boyfriend, Alex, begging for one more goodnight kiss. That’s when the comments popped into my vision, floating in the air like ghostly text messages. [Can the side character get a clue? He’s obviously trying to pull away.] [He’s got an avoidant attachment style, duh. He hates physical contact, and she’s walking right into the line of fire.] [FYI, what he needs is a partner who can guide him, like the main female lead.] [Don’t worry, the female lead is about to show up. This clingy, useless girl is gonna get dumped hard!] I froze for a second, then slowly unwound my arms from around his neck. A moment later, Alex’s head shot up. A flicker of annoyance darkened his eyes, and his voice was a low rasp. "Why'd you stop?" 1 My heart stuttered. My gaze darted away, suddenly unable to meet his. Under that sharp, intense stare, I secretly clutched the bedsheets and mumbled, "I'm just tired." Alex stared at me for two silent seconds. He must not have seen anything unusual in my expression. A moment later, he rolled over, his voice flat. "Then sleep." I looked at the cold, rigid line of his back, a bitter taste filling my mouth. I got up, switched off the lights, and climbed back into bed. The comments echoed in my mind, so I huddled at the very edge of the mattress, putting as much space between us as possible. I wouldn't bother him by pressing against him anymore. Maybe then… he’d hate me a little less. Lying in the dark, listening to the sound of his deep, steady breathing, my thoughts began to drift. Deep down, I think I always knew. Alex didn’t really love me. Since we started dating, he’d always been lukewarm, keeping me at arm's length and resisting any real intimacy. But I’m a clinger. I wanted to be with him every second of every day. He never said anything, but the slight furrow of his brow, the tension in his jaw—it was all there, screaming his reluctance. I just never let myself see it. I even lied to him, telling him I was scared to live alone, just so I could wear him down and move into his place. Then I pushed it further, ending up in his bed, in his room. Every night, I’d cling to him like an octopus, my limbs tangled with his. He allowed it, but now that I think about it, his first instinct was always to refuse. I just wanted to be near him so badly that I ignored all the signs. So the comments I saw… they were probably right. A heavy weight settled in my chest. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt, and it was long past midnight before I finally fell asleep. 2 When I woke up, I was back in Alex’s arms, my right hand wrapped tightly around his waist. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. After a moment of disorientation, a wave of frustration washed over me. I’d gotten so used to sleeping like this, I must have reached for him in my sleep. If Alex woke up and saw this, he’d be so annoyed. Slowly, carefully, I began to retract my arm, trying to slip away without him noticing. I was almost free. But then, his hand shot out and clamped around my wrist. I looked up, my eyes meeting his. They were dark and deep. He must have just woken up, too. His voice was still rough with sleep. "What are you doing?" I yanked my hand back in a panic, bracing my arms against his chest to push him away. "It’s—it’s getting late," I stammered. "We have to get to work." Alex didn’t say anything, just stared at me with a blank expression. But even without looking at him, I could feel a low-pressure storm gathering around him. [He’s definitely in a bad mood because she was cuddling him again.] [Seriously, who likes being held while they sleep? It’s so uncomfortable.] [Right? She’s a grown woman. Can’t she have a little self-awareness?] [I wouldn’t be able to stand a clinger like that either. No wonder he’s pissed.] I looked down, my eyelashes fluttering. The comments made my cheeks burn with shame. As I stood there, frozen with uncertainty, Alex’s deep, magnetic voice came from above me again, impossible to read. "About that goodnight kiss from last night… want to make up for it now?" Before, whenever Alex went on a business trip and missed our good morning or goodnight kisses, I’d make him pay them back. I was like a loan shark about affection—if he missed one, he owed me ten. The first time I’d told him that, he’d almost laughed in disbelief. "Sophie, don't you think that's a little much?" I’d just blinked, completely oblivious, and cupped his face in my hands, planting kiss after kiss on him until I was satisfied. I guess it happened so often that he just got used to it and stopped showing his resistance so openly. But remembering how he’d subtly dodged me last night, I knew he didn't really want to. So I waved my hands frantically. "No, it's okay!" I said, then looked down at the floor, adding in a small, unconfident voice, "We don't have to do the good morning and goodnight kisses anymore." Alex watched me, his gaze hardening. After a long moment, he said flatly, with what sounded like a hint of defiance, "Whatever you want." I quietly let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. But at the same time, a familiar ache spread through my chest. He really did see it as a burden. 3 After a quick shower, I found Alex had already made breakfast. He was always faster than me. By the time I sat down, he was already finished, his eyes fixed on me as I ate. I started eating faster. "No rush," he said, his brow furrowed. I nodded, my cheeks full. Ten minutes later, Alex was ready to drive me to work, just like always. But we were running late. The comments flared to life again, practically buzzing with excitement. [If I remember right, today’s the day he meets the female lead, isn’t it?] [Yep! She starts at his company today. She’s super competent, great with people, and most importantly, she has a sense of personal space.] [See? That’s why he won’t feel pressured around her.] [Once he gets a taste of what a real partner is like, he’ll dump this clinger in a heartbeat.] My vision blurred. So today was the day he’d meet her. My heart felt heavy, and the air around me suddenly seemed thin. Seeing me just standing there, Alex prompted, "Get in the car." I didn’t move. "You can go ahead. I'll get to the office myself." He got out of the car, his long legs closing the distance between us in a few strides. His gaze was sharp, analytical. "You're angry," he stated, not a question. "It’s because I dodged your kiss last night, isn’t it?" I looked up at him, bewildered. "No, of course not." How could I be angry? The comments just made me realize what a clingy person I was. I was just trying to fix it. Alex obviously didn’t believe me. He stepped closer. "Then why won't you let me drive you?" My eyes flickered away. I couldn’t tell him the real reason. "I just think… we should give each other a little more personal space," I said, my voice laced with guilt. He paused, clearly not expecting that. He didn't press any further. "...Fine. I'll pick you up after work." He didn't wait for my answer, just left me with those words, got back in his car, and sped off. I was distracted all day. The comments said Alex was going to drive the female lead home, that he wouldn't be coming for me. They mocked me for being delusional. When I stepped out of my office building, my heart pounding with nervous anticipation, his car wasn't there. Normally, he’d be here ten minutes early. I stared at the empty spot on the curb for a while, lost in thought. Suddenly, a bright voice called out from behind me. "Sophie? What are you doing just standing here? Can't get a ride?" I turned around. It was a young guy with a stylish flair, a motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm. He'd just started a few days ago and was full of energy. "It's rush hour," he continued. "Don't even try the subway. I can give you a lift on my bike." My first instinct was to say no, but the sky was already growing dark. I nodded. "Thanks." Jax was a good head taller than me and easily slipped the helmet over my head. "No problem." But in the next second, a long, insistent car horn blared behind us. Before I could react, Alex was out of his car. He walked right up to me, laced his fingers through mine, and lifted the helmet off my head. He handed it back to Jax with a casual air. "Hey," he said, his voice deceptively light. "I'm Sophie's boyfriend. Alex." Jax blinked, then a mischievous grin spread across his face. "You're not doing a very good job as a boyfriend, are you? We've been off work for a while now." 4 Alex’s eyes narrowed dangerously. The air grew thick with tension. I gently squeezed his hand, trying to break the stalemate. "Alex, let's go home." Then I waved to Jax. "We're gonna head out. See you tomorrow! Ride safe!" On the way to the car, Alex’s mood was dark. He walked so fast, his long legs eating up the pavement, that I had to jog to keep up. Once we were inside, I looked at his cold, chiseled profile, about to explain. But the words died in my throat. My eyes had drifted to the dashboard, and there, nestled behind the windshield, was a cute little cat plushie. Alex hated cats. And that plushie wasn't there yesterday. [Hehe, that adorable little thing? Obviously a gift from the female lead.] [Look at the side character's face. She totally knows what’s up.] [Just break up with him already. Save yourself the humiliation.] [And she probably thinks he was being jealous back there. As if. No guy wants to look like his girlfriend is cheating on him, that's all.] I blinked slowly, forcing down the stinging sensation in my nose. The comments were right. He really did drive the new girl home. And he even let her put that cat plushie—a reminder of something he disliked—right in his line of sight. At this rate, it wouldn't be long before Alex asked me to leave. I sniffled, quietly scooting a little farther away from him. 5 If we were going to break up, I didn't want it to be a complete mess. So that evening, after eating the dinner Alex had cooked, I waited until he was busy in his study. Then, I secretly started moving my things from his bedroom into the guest room. I didn't bother him while he worked, didn't pester him to come to bed early to keep me company like I used to. After my shower, I climbed into the guest bed alone and pulled the covers up over my head. My feet were cold. Maybe from now on, there would be no one to warm them for me. As my mind wandered, there was a knock on the door. I shot up, startled. Opening the door, I hid my body behind it, poking just my head out. "Alex? Do you need something?" He blocked the door with his foot, his gaze unreadable and intense. He did not look happy. "Why did you move in here?" I avoided his eyes and mumbled, "I wanted to sleep by myself." Alex’s brow lowered, his stare pinning me to the spot. The temperature in the hallway seemed to drop a few degrees. "Why?" he asked, his voice cool. I knew moving rooms so suddenly was strange. Staring at the floor, I recited the excuse I’d prepared. "Well… you said before that I’m a restless sleeper. I was afraid I was bothering you, so I thought I'd move out for a bit and try to fix the habit." "We'll sleep together," he said instantly. "I'll help you fix it." His words made the tips of my ears burn. It was such a simple sentence, but coming from his deep, clear voice, it felt incredibly intimate. My mind flashed back to all those nights we'd spent tangled together. He never wore a shirt to bed, and I loved the heat of his bare chest against my back as he held me. But I was the one who forced him to do that. I was always the one demanding he hold me from behind as we slept. He probably hated it. A wave of guilt washed over me. But before I could answer, he reached out and took my hand. I flinched back as if I’d been shocked, pulling my hand away. His expression darkened. I steadied myself, my lips pressed into a nervous line, and quietly refused. "No, it's okay. I think I'm fine sleeping alone. I… I just want some personal space." Alex watched me for a long moment, then nodded. "…Fine. As long as you don't regret it." 6 It was the weekend, so both Alex and I were home. He did something he never did: he invited me to the media room to watch a movie. A thriller. I hesitated. If I was in the same room with him, I knew my fear and old habits would kick in. I’d end up trying to burrow into his arms. But Alex hated that kind of physical contact. Whenever we watched movies before, I always had to beg and plead for ages before he’d finally let me curl up against him. And even then, he’d sit ramrod straight. If there was a kissing scene, he’d gently push me away. "It's… getting a little warm in here," he’d murmur. Once, I reached up to touch his face, and he flinched away like he’d been burned. Before I could ask what was wrong, he was making an excuse to go to the bathroom, desperate to get away from me. Love is in the details. So is the lack of it. Remembering all that, I shook my head, my heart aching as I turned him down. "Maybe not…" Just then, the doorbell rang. I seized the opportunity to escape, scrambling to answer it. Standing on the doorstep was a girl I’d never seen before. Her hands were behind her back, and she gave me a bright, sunny smile. "Hi! I'm looking for Alex." I blinked. [Aaaah, it’s our female lead!] [She’s so pretty when she smiles! She has so much life in her. Her and Alex are a perfect match.] [She came all the way here to put the side character in her place, right?] Reading the comments, I instinctively took a step back and called into the house, my voice a little shaky. "A-Alex, someone's here for you." A moment later, Alex appeared at the door, dressed in lounge clothes. The girl, Grace, brought her hands forward, revealing a soft, fluffy white pillow. A pair of adorable dimples appeared in her cheeks as she spoke, her voice gentle. "I heard you weren't sleeping well, so I picked out one that's supposed to help with sleep." Alex took it, his face unreadable. "Thanks." They chatted for another minute. I just stood there, my legs feeling like they were filled with lead. [Does anyone else get the subtle genius of her gift? A pillow is intimate, but not too forward, and it hits his exact problem!] [Our girl is so thoughtful and knows her boundaries.] [If I remember correctly, the pillow he’s using now is one the side character bought him, right? It’s about to be replaced.] [That’s how it’s done! First, you replace her things, then you replace her.] I lowered my eyes, about to slip away unnoticed. But then, Grace called out to me, her eyes curving into a smile. "You must be Alex’s girlfriend, right? You're so beautiful. By the way, my name is Grace. I love cats, too." I was confused. Before I could say anything, Alex was already ushering her out the door. He disappeared into the bedroom and came back out holding another pillow—the one I had bought him. He handed it to me, his expression neutral. "You don't have a pillow in your room, do you? Use this one." He paused, then added, "This one's more comfortable." I stared at it for a moment before my hand moved to take it. A bitter taste filled my mouth as I forced the word out. "…Okay." The comments were right again. He’d chosen the pillow Grace gave him and returned mine. He even came up with a ready-made excuse, probably afraid I’d make a scene. I knew this was just the beginning. I practically fled back to my room. 7 I stayed in my room all day. Alex knocked a few times, asking what was wrong, but I just brushed him off with excuses. Later, the doorbell rang again. It was Jax, dropping off a contract for me from our boss. But when the door opened, he was met with Alex's thunderous expression. Alex was in the middle of making dinner, his sleeves rolled up. "Sophie's busy. You can give it to me." Then he added dismissively, "You can go now if you're done. I'm a busy man. After all, not every guy knows his way around a kitchen like I do." Jax scratched his head, peering past Alex into the house. "You need cooking skills to heat up takeout?" Alex’s face got even darker. He was practically shoving Jax out the door. "Sophie and I have some… private things to take care of." In reality, the "private thing" he was talking about was just him rubbing my stomach because I’d eaten too much. After dinner, I don't remember when I fell asleep. When I woke up again, I knew what I had to do. I found Alex in the laundry room, washing my underwear. A pink scrap of lace was being gently kneaded between his fingers. My face instantly flushed crimson. Pushing down the flutter in my chest, I walked over to him and spoke slowly. "Alex, I want to move out." His hands stopped. He was silent for a long moment. Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed like he started scrubbing with more force. "Weren't you scared of living alone?" "Is it because of…" He didn’t lift his head, his voice low and raspy. He never finished the sentence. I couldn’t admit I’d lied to him before. "I can learn to get over it," I mumbled. He kept his focus on washing my things, saying nothing. I followed him as he moved to hang them up, a nervous knot in my stomach. I couldn't tell what I wanted more—for him to agree, or for him to say no. So I asked again. "Can I?" After hanging the last piece, Alex finally turned to look at me. His dark eyes were like bottomless pits. He ground his teeth, and his voice was cold. "If you're already planning to leave, what do you need a boyfriend for? We might as well just break up." I froze on the spot. The comments, however, exploded with joy. [This is what he’s really been thinking, isn’t it? He’s wanted to break up with her for ages.] [About time she got the hint.] [Go, go, go! Make room for our female lead!]