Rigged From Birth: I Still Fought Back

My mom is the kind of person who values achievement above all else. Consequently, just because I opened my eyes a little later than my twin brother, Alan Barton, when we were born, she decided I was the inferior twin—even treating me to watery baby cereal while Alan got the best of everything. From then on, Alan always came out ahead. The whole family bent over backward to give him every advantage, while I had no one to rely on but myself. After a lot of hard work, I finally achieved my goal on the SATs, beating Alan for the very first time. But when I arrived at the college acceptance party, Alan was already holding court and toasting the guests. When I broke down, sobbing and screaming at Mom over her blatant favoritism, Alan casually mentioned that he had already been accepted to Swafford College early and only took the SATs for fun; ergo, I still lost. Mom looked at me with utter disappointment, calling me worthless. Furious and heartbroken, I ran away from home. I put myself through college and built a career entirely on my own. Just as my life is finally starting to come together, I got diagnosed with cancer, threatening both my health and livelihood. After five years of complete estrangement, I swallow my pride to ask Mom for help. Instead, Alan steps in and destroys my last chance of survival. Chapter 1 For the holiday sales push, I had to close 50 auto loans before New Year's Eve, or I was fired. It was already December 30th, and no matter how hard I pushed myself, I was still ten loans short. Just then, a news notification popped up on my phone. "Barton Group is going all out for the holidays! The top 100 employees are each getting a car!" Out of sheer desperation, I called Mom. We hadn't spoken in five years. "I saw the news about the company giving cars to its employees. Can you get the loan through me? I'm just a bit short on my quota this month." After a long silence, I finally heard Mom say, "Fine." But immediately after, I heard my twin brother Alan Barton's voice. "Don't bother with him! Didn't he say he wasn't going to rely on the family when he left?" The line went dead, and all that remained was silence. A nurse walked into my hospital room to drop a bill demanding payment for my chemotherapy on the bedside table. "You're not the only one with cancer, you know. We're short on beds here. If you can't pay, then you need to discharge yourself as soon as possible." The cancer had drained all my savings, so I had no choice but to work while undergoing chemotherapy. But now, I had not only spent all my money, but my cancer was still not cured. And on top of that, I was about to lose my job. I maxed out the last bit of available credit on my card, paid off my medical bills, and signed my discharge papers. Out in the bitter cold, I stood there helplessly, not knowing where to go. I couldn't help but think back on the first half of my life, a life where I'd apparently never been good enough. Mom was the kind of person who valued achievement above all else, so Alan and I were pitted against each other from day one. Alan opened his eyes before I did, and somehow that was enough to earn him the right to drink formula. And I was stuck with watered-down baby cereal. He learned to crawl at six months old, so Mom hired ten nannies just for him. As for me, I was dumped in a small dark room, fed on a strict schedule like I was some kind of pet. When we started school, he had the best private tutors and got perfect scores every time. Meanwhile, even if I came home with a 99%, I'd go without dinner that night. "If you work hard enough, you can have anything you want. But if you didn't get it, it's simply because you were slacking off. Remember, winners take all. That's how this family works, and that's how the real world works." Six-year-old me took Mom's words to heart. I told myself I couldn't afford to slack off. I had to earn that missing point, and also Mom's love. After pulling all-nighters, I went straight to school the next morning and scored a perfect 100% on every exam that semester. But somehow, it still wasn't enough to beat Alan. Not only did he get perfect scores in every subject, but he also won the city-wide swimming championship. For winter break, Mom and Dad took him on an overseas trip, leaving me home alone. I survived on cold water and stale bread every day while waiting for them to come home. But I knew I deserved it. I simply hadn't tried hard enough. That was when I set a goal for myself. I wanted to get into a better college than Alan's ten years later, no matter what. Even if it was just once, I wanted Mom to reward me. From that day on, I studied as if my life depended on it, never daring to let myself rest. Then, on the day the results were released, I collapsed from exhaustion and slept the whole day. When I woke up at dusk, the house was empty. A thought suddenly struck me right then. I dug out my exam slips and Alan's. My hands trembled as I entered our candidate numbers into the computer. After hesitating for what felt like forever, I finally hit the "Enter" key and nervously opened my eyes. I beat him by one point! I'd finally beaten him for once! I crouched in front of the computer, sobbing uncontrollably. Ten years of hard work had finally paid off! I had to tell Mom the good news! I ran out of the house, only to bump into the neighbor's housekeeper. She looked confused when she saw me. "Your parents are hosting a college acceptance party at the Grandrow Hotel. They invited everyone in the Crestview Estates. Aren't you going?" When I got to the hotel, Alan was surrounded by people, practically basking in the attention like royalty. "Thank you all for coming to my college acceptance party. And thank you, Mom and Dad, for throwing it for me!" Why was this his party? I was the one who won this time! Chapter 2 I shoved my way through the crowd and tearfully confronted Mom. "You lied to me! You said winners take all, so why does he get to be here when he lost?" Looking at me with disappointment, she sighed. Alan set down his glass, looking thoroughly annoyed. "I'd gotten my acceptance letter from Swafford College ages ago. I only took the SATs to kill time. "Did you honestly think you could beat me? Is this really a place for someone like you? You're seriously ruining the mood!" He didn't even care about the very thing I'd spent ten years fighting for? I stood there in a daze, feeling my entire world collapse around me. Dad came over and tried to pull me outside. But I stubbornly refused to leave. Even if it was just once, I wanted to be part of something like this. Then I spotted the cake on the table. As if possessed, I rushed over, grabbed a handful, and shoved it into my mouth. I was sobbing and gagging at the same time. The guests were horrified by my behavior, looking at me like I was some kind of lunatic. Mom marched over and slapped me hard across the face. "What's the point of crying? If you're not good enough, then work harder instead of acting like a lunatic to get people's sympathy! "Did you really think acting like this would make us baby you and give you whatever you want?" Disgusted by my lack of class, Alan suddenly snapped. He swept the rest of the cake off the table. "Jeremy Barton, I've been sick of you for years! I don't even know the point of your existence! You burn through Mom and Dad's money, and all you have to show for it is nothing but garbage. How does that make any sense? "Even a dog or a pig serves some purpose. What's yours? Where is your value? This family would be a lot happier if you just didn't exist!" His words knocked the air right out of me, leaving me feeling crushed beneath them. I screamed through my tears, "I might be useless, but I'm still their son!" The entire room fell dead silent. In the deafening quiet, Mom suddenly muttered, "You're utterly worthless." The moment I heard those words, my mind went blank. I just stood there in shock. "I've worked harder than anyone! How am I the worthless one? If I'd had private tutors and all the opportunities Alan had, I'd have done even better than him!" Alan stormed over to shove me to the ground, and I landed right in the smashed cake. "I earned all of that with my own abilities. Do you really think you deserve any of it?" Mom watched me with cold eyes while Dad tried to calm Alan down. Not a single person cared about the state I was in. I scrambled to my feet and ran outside, screaming, "Fine! I'm clearly not good enough for this family! I'll stay out of your lives from now on. And I'll never ask any of you for help again!" Chapter 3 The biting wind whipped down my collar. I felt utterly humiliated. Back then, I'd said those words with such conviction. But now I was dying of cancer and couldn't even afford my medical bills. Reality didn't give me time to wallow in self-pity, though. My bank manager sent out another one of those over-the-top motivational messages. "Team, our year-end target isn't a goal. It's the bare minimum! Everyone needs to step up. There's no backing out! "Whether you live or die, whether you end up on your feet or on your knees, it all comes down to these last ten hours!" The message couldn't have come at a more fitting time. No matter how useless I was, I still wanted to live because I hadn't really lived my life yet. After racking my brain, I called Uncle Toby. "Ten cars? No problem. That works out perfectly. Everyone can have one for New Year's Day. I'll set one aside for you, too. It's been years since you came over to visit." My nose stung, and I choked back a sob. "Thank you, Uncle Toby, but I'll pass." But before I could even wipe my tears, an unknown number called. It was my oh-so-perfect brother, Alan. "Jeremy, if you're so dang proud of yourself, then don't cheat. Uncle Toby is Mom's brother. Without Mom, you wouldn't even have a connection to him. "You're just a low-level bank employee. How would you even get access to him? You worthless piece of trash, can't you even keep your word? "Good thing I intercepted his call to Mom. He already promised me he won't help you with your quota. I guess you're so used to being a useless freeloader at home that you really think money just falls from the sky." The screen faded to black, and it felt like my hope of survival had faded with it. Tomorrow was New Year's Eve. The streets were glowing with festive lights, and the people walking by seemed so carefree. So why couldn't I be one of them? I grabbed a random passerby. "Do you want to buy a car?" He just looked at me like I was crazy. "Psycho!" Somehow, after wandering around for who knew how long, I ended up standing outside my family home. Should I swallow my pride and apologize? Should I tell them that if they just paid for my treatment, I'd work even harder? I entered the passcode, but the gate wouldn't budge. They had changed the password. This was freaking ridiculous. Fine. We could all die then. With what little strength I had left, I climbed over the wall and slipped into the yard. The place was already decked out with colorful lights and decorations. It looked so festive. It reminded me of how, every year when I was a kid, I would be locked in that dark room, forced to reflect on what I hadn't done well enough that year to beat Alan. I'd never even had a proper New Year's Eve dinner with them. Before I died, I was going to eat a proper meal. Chapter 4 I quietly slipped into the kitchen, which was stocked with all kinds of food. I opened a box of strawberries and started stuffing my face. Then I moved on to the cherries and blueberries. There were even Mom's homemade fried meatballs. In our family, those were the ultimate reward, so I'd never had a single one. I desperately shoved them into my mouth until there wasn't a single one left, eating so much I felt sick. Then I went to the living room window to peer inside. They looked like the perfect family straight out of a TV commercial. I picked up a rock, ready to give them a little surprise. Just then, I heard Dad's voice. "Do you think Jeremy might be going through something?" Age had softened Mom's features, making her look much kinder than I remembered. "If you're worried about him, call him yourself." A flicker of hope ignited in my chest. I waited for my phone to ring, imagining what Dad would say. But Alan grabbed his hand to stop him. "What could he possibly be going through? He's just trying to cut corners and take the easy way out. If you help him now, you will only be making things unfair for me." Dad immediately put the phone down and patted Alan's shoulder. "Alright, alright. I won't call him." Mom casually chimed in, "He's always been too soft to endure any real hardship. If he were actually struggling, he'd come crawling back. I bet he's just out there drifting through life and getting nowhere. "He was born weak, and we went too easy on him because we felt sorry for him. That's what turned him into such an incapable person. "If he ever comes back after failing to make it on his own, I'm going to set him straight." When I heard that, I felt utterly exhausted. I realized I couldn't even hold the rock up anymore. I tried to lift it, but it was useless. The window reflected my ghostly pale face. I was so tired that I didn't want to struggle anymore. It would seem like this useless piece of trash was about to leave this world behind. I dropped the rock and curled up in the corner, waiting for death to take me. Just then, a stray cat wandered over, mewling at me. I pulled it into my arms so we could keep each other warm, and it immediately quieted down. Mom absolutely despised these "filthy animals". If I did this, then it wouldn't disrupt their family gathering. See? I was still good for something. My body was already in tatters from cancer and chemotherapy. And with the biting wind and rain battering me, I died much sooner than I thought I would. Once I slipped free of that broken body, I felt strangely weightless. Holding the cat in my arms, I drifted toward the house. Mom started talking about her plans for the new year, about how everyone needed to work harder. Being dead was great. I didn't want to try hard again. I made my way over to the guest room and spent the night on the big, comfortable bed inside. ow nice.